Five Tips to Recover from Rejection by An Agency Planner
Have you felt irritated just because your posts are getting dislikes or not getting likes? Have you done your best only to feel anguished because people say no to you? Rejection can make us feel like we are being excluded and even worthless. An fMRI study suggests that rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain. It hurts, for real.
In the era of social media, rejection happens more frequently. Sometimes they are visible and countable. Things like some people unfollowed us, being brushed off in the comment section, Tinder match swiping left are common occurrences. It is quite ironic that while social media enables connections, it also exposes us to rejection.
Rejection is no stranger to people who work in the advertising industry as well. We are dealing with it almost every day in different scales and forms. If you have friends working in an advertising agency, you probably hear this story a number of times. “We were briefed on this challenging project. We racked our brains, brainstormed for days and nights and finally, we found an ‘aha’ idea that was so great and groundbreaking. We pulled out all the stops to prepare the presentation, losing sleep for many days, only to feel crushed when they said ‘no’.”
It is impossible for us to avoid rejection, yet the stress triggered by it has significant impacts on our well-being and productivity. If not managed properly, it can demotivate us and lead to burnout. Research even suggests that rejection can reduce a person’s IQ, impede analytical reasoning, and increase their aggression. When you work in an industry like advertising where you are expected to take rejection gracefully and come up with new ideas or solutions right away, you need to develop the ability to let go and move on.
I remember in my junior days as an advertising account planner, I felt so heartbroken and everybody could see how I felt on my face. My boss, at that time, reprimanded and consoled me at the same time, “Don’t get too attached with the idea. Don’t take it personally. It’s probably hard to understand but you would get better with more experience.” I did get better at smiling and buried my pain. Then one day, I broke down and chose to leave the industry for a while.
Taking a break, doing some soul searching and getting to know myself helped me to find ways to build my resilience towards stress, including rejection. I cannot say that I am immune to it but I feel like I can let go of it more easily. Here are my five tips to let go of the stress and recover from rejection.
#1 Take a deep breath
Research suggests that deep breathing can help lower stress levels. It can relax our internal system triggered by stress and send signals to our brain to calm down. There are different deep breathing techniques out there, but my favorite is the deep breathing exercise by Irmansyah Effendi M.Sc, the founder of Natural Way of Living and the author of Secrets of Natural Walking: Activate the Extraordinary Healing Capabilities of Your Body. It is easy to do and I can feel the benefits right away. Not only do I feel relaxed, but my body is also energized after doing it.
#2 Put a limit on how long you can talk about it
Discussing what happens did help provide clarity and in some way, helping us to let off steam. However, personally, I found that talking about it for a long period of time made me feel like I experienced that bad event over and over again. My stress and anger level went up as I talked more. To prevent me from going overboard and ruining my friends’ mood, I usually tell my friends beforehand that I will talk about bad things that just happened to me for 30 minutes, ask them to stop me after that time limit has passed and distract me with something hilarious or other things. It is hard to do at the beginning, but it gets better with practice.
#3 Treat yourself to delicious food that can increase your serotonin level
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps promote positive feelings. There are different types of food that can help boost your serotonin, such as salmon, eggs, milk, spinach, tofu, soy sauce, seeds and nuts. No wonder a portion of teriyaki salmon never fails to cheer me up!
#4 Meditate and make it part of your daily routine
Some studies show that meditation can help relieve the stress level. There are different meditation techniques that you can explore. The key to make any meditation practice work is consistency. Whatever meditation technique you choose, as much as possible, do it every day, even when you feel it is hard to do.
Frankly, it was a challenge to find the meditation technique that worked for me. I had a restless mind and whenever I tried to empty my mind, it got noisier. One meditation that works for me is Open Heart Meditation. When doing Open Heart Meditation, instead of trying to control the mind, practitioners are guided to touch their heart and smile. In the beginning, it felt weird to me because for no reason, I wanted to laugh and I sensed something akin to joy budding within me. After incorporating this meditation practice into my daily routine, my mind becomes less busy, I feel lighter, calmer and I sleep better. If you want to join me for free group meditation, you can send me a message.
#5 Release your inner child
Responsibilities come with being an adult. Shouldering the weight of the world, we feel we need to make sure we excel. We tend to overthink and we become too serious, especially when problems arise. Set aside some time to release your inner child. No need to think about anything, no need to mind your image. You can close the door, play some fun and exciting music, sing and dance without a care in the world. It does not matter if you dance out of beat or sing out of tune. What’s important is you feel free and happy.
Most importantly… don’t force yourself
We want to move on from rejection fast and be a stronger person. However, we cannot deny that it hurts. The fact that we deal with it more often does not make it less painful. Never force yourself to feel good. If you find it hard to deal with, don’t be shy to seek professional help.
